Terms of Service

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<div style="text-align: center;"> <img @src="$ImagePath + 'termsOfServiceBird.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"> <span id="page1">\ <<timed 1s>>Hi!<<run window.typeS();>><</timed>> <<timed 2s>>Welcome to my game!<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>> <<timed 3.5s>>My name is THE BIRD.<<run window.typeM2();>> <<button "OKAY">><<replace "#page1">>\ <span id="page2"><<run window.typeM1();>>Before we get started... <<timed 1.5s>><<run window.typeM2();>>let's get all the legal stuff out of the way.<</timed>> <<timed 3s>><<run window.typeM1();>>Just accept the Terms of Service below and we can play my game!<</timed>></span> <<timed 12s>><<run window.typeS();>><<replace "#page2">>. <</replace>><</timed>>\ <<timed 12.5s>><<replace "#page2">>.. <</replace>><</timed>>\ <<timed 13s>><<replace "#page2">>... <</replace>><</timed>>\ <<timed 13.5s>><<run window.typeS();>><<replace "#page2">>. <</replace>><</timed>>\ <<timed 14s>><<replace "#page2">>.. <</replace>><</timed>>\ <<timed 14.5s>><<replace "#page2">>... <</replace>><</timed>>\ <<timed 15s>><<run window.typeS();>><<replace "#page2">>. <</replace>><</timed>>\ <<timed 15.5s>><<replace "#page2">>.. <</replace>><</timed>>\ <<timed 16s>><<replace "#page2">>... <</replace>><</timed>><<timed 17s>><<goto [[DropdownTutorial]]>><</timed>>\ <<timed 5s>><<run window.space();>> <<button [[I ACCEPT|Failure]]>><<run window.mouse();>><<set $failedTutorialTimes = ($failedTutorialTimes + 1)>><</button>> <button style="width: 100%;" onclick="document.querySelector('#contract').classList.toggle('hidden')">TERMS OF SERVICE ▼</button><table id="contract" class="hidden contract"> <tr><td>(i)</td> <td>The Soul Transfer Clause $soulClause</td> <td></td></tr> </table> <<timed 1s>>//(HINT: Read the Terms of Service!)//<</timed>> <</timed>> <</replace>> <</button>> <</timed>> </span> </div>

<div align='center' style='user-select: none'> <img @src="$ImagePath + 'emptyTable.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"> <<set $level = 0>> <div style='font-size: 400%; line-height: 30%'><<run window.typeS();>><<type 30ms>>TERMS OF SERVICE<</type>></div> <<timed 1.1s>><div style='font-size: 80%'><<run window.typeM2();>><<type 20ms>>©2025 SovSeabird, made for the 2025 Bluebird Jam<</type>></div><</timed>> <<timed 1.5s>><<button "PLAY">><<run window.mouse();>> <<if $failedTutorialTimes >= 2 && !$seenIntro>> <<goto [[TutorialHelp]]>> <<else>><<goto [[Intro]]>> <</if>><</button>>\ <<if $seenIntro || $tutorialCanSkip>> <<button "SKIP TUTORIAL">><<run window.mouse();>><<goto [[Level1Q]]>><</button>><</if>><<if $wonGame && false>> <<button [[BONUS LEVEL ☆|BonusLevel]]>><</button>><</if>> <label><<checkbox "$jumpscaresEnabled" false true autocheck>> enable jumpscares?</label> || <label><<checkbox "$extraTime" false true autocheck>> extra time?</label><</timed>> </div>

<<set $Testing = false>> IMPORTANT!!!!! SET TO false WHEN PUBLISHING!!!! <<if $Testing>> <<set $ImagePath = "/Users/albert/Documents/Twine/Stories/TOSimages/">> <<set $AudioPath = "/Users/albert/Documents/Twine/Stories/TOSaudio/">> <<else>> <<set $ImagePath = "TOSimages/">> <<set $AudioPath = "TOSaudio/">> <</if>> <<set $soulClause = "YOUR soul hereby belongs to me, THE BIRD. Cheers!">> <<set $verboseSoulClause = "YOU hereby grant THE BIRD full, irrevocable ownership of YOUR soul, spirit, essence, and/or metaphysical vibes (collectively, \"SOUL STUFF\").">> <<set $seenIntro = false>> <<set $tutorialCanSkip = false>> <<set $level = 0>> <<set $showTimer = false>> <<set $jumpscaresEnabled = false>> <<set $extraTime = false>> <<set $wonGame = false>> <<set $seenDialogue1 = false>> <<set $seenDialogue2 = false>> <<set $failedTutorialTimes = 0>>

The quick <select id="wordDropdown"> <option value="brown">brown</option> <option value="red">red</option> <option value="blue">blue</option> <option value="green">green</option> </select> fox jumps over the lazy dog. <button id="applyButton">I ACCEPT</button> <button id="applyButton">I REJECT</button> <div align='center' style='user-select: none'></div>

<div style="text-align: center;"> <img @src="$ImagePath + 'termsOfServiceBird.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"> <span id="page1">\ <<run window.typeS();>>Hm. <<timed 1.5s>><<run window.typeM1();>>What could be the holdup here, pray tell?<</timed>> <<timed 3s>><<run window.typeM2();>>Perhaps you spotted the fun part?<</timed>><<timed 4.5s>> Let me highlight the relevant section for you...<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>> <<timed 6s>><<run window.mouse();>><table id="contract" class="contract"><tr> <td>(i)</td> <td>The Soul Transfer Clause $soulClause</td> <td></td> </tr> </table><</timed>> <<timed 8s>>Oho!<<run window.typeS();>><</timed>><<timed 9s>> Looks like someone’s got their feathers in a bunch.<<run window.typeM2();>><</timed>> <<timed 11s>> Not the //enthusiastic consent// I was hoping for, however.<<run window.typeM1();>> <<button "OF COURSE NOT">><<replace "#page1">>\ <<run window.typeM2();>>No need to get snippy, now! <<timed 1.5s>><<run window.typeM1();>>Maybe you'll prefer //these// Terms—<</timed>><<timed 3s>> just give that //third// clause a quick skim!<<run window.typeS();>><</timed>>\ <<timed 5s>><<run window.space();>> <<set $isVoid to "cool">> <<button "I ACCEPT">><<run window.mouse();>> <<if $isVoid == "void">><<goto [[TimerTutorial]]>> <<else>><<set $failedTutorialTimes = ($failedTutorialTimes + 1)>><<goto [[Failure]]>> <</if>> <</button>> <button style="width: 100%;" onclick="document.querySelector('#contract').classList.toggle('hidden')">TERMS OF SERVICE ▼</button><table id="contract" class="hidden contract"><tr> <td>(i)</td> <td>The Soul Transfer Clause $verboseSoulClause</td> <td></td> </tr> <tr><td>(ii)</td> <td>The Unimportant Clause Clause (i) is <select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="isVoid" autocomplete="off"> <option value="stinky">stinky</option> <option value="void">void</option> <option value="cool">cool</option></select>.</td> <td></td></tr> <tr><td>(iii)</td> <td>Declaration of In-The-Pants Mess Every student, faculty member, and overgrown squirrel sighted skittering across the hole in the ozone layer shall be issued one (1) Port-A-Potty. The funding for this project will be magnanimously sourced from YOUR wallet. </td><td></td></tr> </table> <</timed>> <</replace>><</button>><</timed>></span> </div>

<div style="text-align: center;"> <img @src="$ImagePath + 'termsOfServiceBird.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"> <<set $seenIntro = true>> <<timed 2.5s>><<run window.typeS();>>...I see how this is.<</timed>> <<timed 4s>><<run window.typeM1();>>Do you play games often? <<set $level = 1>>\ <<replace "#level">>Level $level<</replace>>\ <<button [[I DO|Level1R]]>> <<set $gamesAnswer = true>> <</button>> <<button [[I DON'T|Level1R]]>> <<set $gamesAnswer = false>> <</button>> <</timed>> <<timed 2.5s>><<if $seenDialogue1>>[[SKIP PRELUDE|Level1]]<</if>><</timed>> </div>

<div id="level"><<if $level != 0>>Level $level<</if>></div> <div class="timer-wrapper" style="display: flex; justify-content: center; width: 100%;"> <div id="timer" class="timer" data-time="" style="--percentage: 100%, display: none"> <div class="timer-backdrop"></div> </div> </div>

<div style="text-align: center;"> <span id="bird"><img @src="$ImagePath + 'termsOfServiceBird.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"></span>\ <<timed 1ms>><<if $extraTime>><<set _time to 120>><<else>><<set _time to 60>><</if>><</timed>> <span id="page1">\ Aha! <<timed 1.5s>><<run window.space();>>Ah—<</timed>><<timed 2s>> hmm.<<run window.typeS();>><</timed>> <<timed 3.5s>><<run window.typeS();>>Very...<</timed>><<timed 5s>> editorial of you.<<run window.typeM1();>> <<button "YEAH">><<replace "#page1">>\ <<run window.typeM2();>>I'm going to send you another contract. <<timed 2s>><<run window.typeM1();>>Let's pick up the pace, shall we?\ <<replace "#bird">><img @src="$ImagePath + 'timer.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"><</replace>>\ <<run setup.timer.set(_time);>>\ <</timed>> <<timed 4s>><<run window.typeS();>>My patience wears thin.<</timed>> <<timed 5.5s>><<run window.typeL();>>Wouldn't want to be caught pants-down by that TIMER now, would we? <<button "YOU DON'T WEAR PANTS ▶">><<run window.space();>><<replace "#page1">>\ Tick-tock, love.\ <<replace "#bird">><img @src="$ImagePath + 'termsOfServiceBird.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"><</replace>> <<run setup.timer.start(_time, function() { if (State.variables.isVoid == "1") { Engine.play("Level1Q"); } else { State.variables.failedTutorialTimes = State.variables.failedTutorialTimes + 1; Engine.play("Failure"); } })>>\ <<set $isVoid to "3">> <<button "I ACCEPT">><<run window.mouse();>> <<run setup.timer.stop();>> <<if $isVoid == "1">><<goto [[Level1Q]]>> <<else>><<set $failedTutorialTimes = ($failedTutorialTimes + 1)>><<goto [[Failure]]>> <</if>> <</button>> <button style="width: 100%;" onclick="document.querySelector('#contract').classList.toggle('hidden')">TERMS OF SERVICE ▼</button><table id="contract" class="hidden contract"><tr> <td>(i)</td> <td>The Soul Transfer Clause $verboseSoulClause</td> <td></td></tr> <tr><td>(ii)</td> <td>My Honors Thesis Rats are relatively small, long-tailed <select class="inline-dropdown"><option value="1">birds</option><option value="2">molluscs</option><option value="3">rodents</option></select> most notorious for their unsanitary habits, <select class="inline-dropdown"><option value="1">ugly</option><option value="2">unwarranted</option><option value="3">blatant</option></select> disrespect for <select class="inline-dropdown"><option value="1">Jurassic</option><option value="2">Neolithic</option><option value="3">Gothic</option></select> architecture, and unfettered bloodlust towards <select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="isVoid"><option value="1">gene pools</option><option value="2">tide pools</option><option value="3">lifeforms</option></select> of higher weight classes. Dataminers verify that rats indeed bring about <select class="inline-dropdown"> <option value="1">smelly</option> <option value="2">negligible</option> <option value="3">severe</option></select> devastation to human food stocks and real estate, serving as vectors for <select class="inline-dropdown"><option value="1">Ronald McDonald-esque</option><option value="2">foodborne</option><option value="3">deadly</option></select> contagions such as bubonic plague and <select class="inline-dropdown"><option value="1">printer jams</option><option value="2">bellyaches</option><option value="3">Kermit The Frog</option></select>. Rats are stupidly good at <select class="inline-dropdown"> <option value="1">Minecraft</option> <option value="2">Minestrone</option> <option value="3">Minesweeper</option></select>. With their sixth sense of <select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="isVoid"><option value="1">Pleistocene</option><option value="2">barometric</option><option value="3">atmospheric</option></select> pressure and seventh sense of <select class="inline-dropdown"><option value="1">card counting</option><option value="2">Celtic punk rock</option><option value="3">thermal noise</option></select>, as well as their eighth sense in detecting <select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="isVoid"><option value="1">zero-point</option><option value="2">non-Brownian</option><option value="3">electromagnetic and quantum</option></select> phenomena, they can effectively control <select class="inline-dropdown"><option value="1">the stock market</option><option value="2">time</option><option value="3">RNG</option></select> itself. Dirty cheaters. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(iii)</td> <td>The Capital Clause THE BIRD reserves the right to rename any capital city of its choosing to "<select class="inline-dropdown"> <option value="1">Poopytown</option> <option value="2">Macaroni Land</option> <option value="3">The Amazon Dust Bowl</option></select>". </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(iv)</td> <td>The Bazinga Clause If the letter "z" appears in any prime-numbered clause, all odd-numbered clauses are void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(v)</td> <td>The Holly Jolly Clause THE BIRD reserves the right to <select class="inline-dropdown"> <option value="1">stub your toe</option> <option value="2">mix tapeworm eggs into commercially-sold eggnog</option> <option value="3">break in and enter</option></select>. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(vi)</td> <td>The Timer Clause When the TIMER hits 0, THE BIRD will ACCEPT these Terms of Service on YOUR behalf. </td><td></td></tr> </table> //(HINT: Always skim over the Terms first! When you're short on time, it's no good to read every trifling detail...)// <</replace>><</button>> <</timed>> <</replace>><</button>><</timed>></span> </div>

<div style="text-align: center;"> <span id="bird"><img @src="$ImagePath + 'termsOfServiceBird.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"></span> <<timed 1ms>><<if $extraTime>><<set _time to 360>><<else>><<set _time to 180>><</if>><<run setup.timer.set(_time);>><</timed>> <span id="page1"><<run window.typeS();>>Oh, but I don't jest!<<timed 1s>> Let's be honest—<<run window.typeS();>><</timed>><<timed 2.5s>> chances are that you've never read an entire Terms or Privacy Policy and understood it in full.<<run window.typeL();>><</timed>> <<timed 5.5s>>The modern ones are marvelously web-friendly!<<run window.typeM2();>><</timed>><<timed 7s>> Thousand-word sagas chronicled across "Privacy Centers"...<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>><<timed 9s>> entire canons hyperlinked together like the IKEA backrooms.<<run window.typeL();>><</timed>> <<timed 12s>>Bellyaching over my Terms of Service, are we?<<run window.typeM2();>><</timed>><<timed 13.5s>> Truth is, mine are mere //haikus// in comparison!<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>> <<timed 15.5s>>Check it out!<<run window.typeS();>><</timed>><<timed 16.5s>> I like <<link "AT&T's">><<script>>window.open('https://www.att.com/legal/terms.consumerServiceAgreement.html')<</script>><</link>> because it stuffs 47,600 words into one page. That's hours of your lifespan you're not getting back!<<run window.typeM2();>> <<button "OKAY I GET IT ▶">><<run window.space();>><<replace "#page1">>\ The decision is yours. Chop-chop!\ <<replace "#bird">><img @src="$ImagePath + 'termsOfServiceBird.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"><</replace>> <<run setup.timer.start(_time, function() { if (State.variables.firstW != "0" && State.variables.secondW != "0" && State.variables.thirdW != "0" && State.variables.fifthW != "0" && State.variables.month == "september" && State.variables.target == "7") { Engine.play("Level2Q"); } else { Engine.play("Failure"); } })>><<set $seenDialogue1 to true>>\ <<set $firstW to "0">><<set $secondW to "2">><<set $thirdW to "0">><<set $fifthW to "2">><<set $month to "march">><<set $target = "10">> <<button "I ACCEPT">> <<run window.mouse();>> <<run setup.timer.stop();>> <<if $firstW != "0" && $secondW != "0" && $thirdW != "0" && $fifthW != "0" && $month == "september" && $target == "7">> <<goto [[Level2Q]]>> <<else>><<goto [[Failure]]>> <</if>> <</button>> <button style="width: 100%;" onclick="document.querySelector('#contract').classList.toggle('hidden')">TERMS OF SERVICE ▼</button><table id="contract" class="hidden contract"> <tr><td>(i)</td> <td>The Soul Transfer Clause $verboseSoulClause </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(ii)</td> <td>The Farmer and the Grease Trap Once upon a time, there <select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="firstW"> <option value="1">may have been</option> <option value="2">used to be</option> <option value="0">was</option></select> a farmer and also a grease trap. One day the farmer fell and got stuck in the grease trap. The grease trap said, "<select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="secondW"> <option value="0">Whoops, my bad.</option> <option value="1">Oopsie-daisies.</option> <option value="2">Haha, you suck!</option></select>" And it heartily <select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="thirdW"> <option value="1">nonchalanted</option> <option value="2">sneered</option> <option value="0">guffawed</option></select> at the farmer's misfortune for eleventy-seven hours straight. After that the farmer died from being immersed in grease for eleventy-seven hours which is probably not good for the <select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="fifthW"> <option value="1">lungs</option> <option value="0">widow's peak</option> <option value="2">pancreas</option></select>. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(iii)</td> <td>The Object Clause The story described in Clause (ii) is defamatory. My name is Galvanicus "Guzzler" Gyre the Grease Trap and as an inanimate object I cannot be held legally accountable for that. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(iv)</td> <td>Common Excerpt from the Pie Treaty If the millionth digit of pi is the same as the number of times that "w" appears in Clause (ii), Clauses (v) and (<select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="target"> <option value="7">vii</option> <option value="9">ix</option> <option value="10">x</option></select>) are void. Otherwise, Clause (vi) is void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(v)</td> <td>The Pocket Monster Clause THE BIRD reserves the right to traverse the continent with no adult supervision, trample upon every acre of private property in Ontario, and <select class="inline-dropdown"> <option value="1">break in and enter (again)</option> <option value="2">fight crime lords with magic chihuahuas</option> <option value="3">stack weird CDs atop animals' faces </option></select>. Additionally, Clause (iii) is void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(vi)</td> <td>The Favouritism Clause If THE BIRD's favourite month is <select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="month"> <option value="october">October</option> <option value="september">September</option> <option value="march">March</option></select>, you smell like stale Raisin Bran and Clause (ix) is void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(vii)</td> <td>The Contrarian Clause Clause (vi) is void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(viii)</td> <td>The History Buff Clause THE BIRD's favourite month is NOT the month when <select class="inline-dropdown"> <option value="0">Sputnik I was launched</option> <option value="1">Alfred Nobel was born</option> <option value="2">the first commercially released CD player was launched.</option></select> </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(ix)</td> <td>The Sub Sandwich Supreme Clause All clauses that void Clause (i) are void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(x)</td> <td>The Guardian Angel Clause If Clause (iii) is not void, Clause (i) is void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xi)</td> <td>THE BIRD's Clause If Clause (vi) is void, Clause (x) is void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xii)</td> <td>The Clue-U-In Clause THE BIRD's favourite month is different from the month when the following video was uploaded: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55w6zpolwks&ab_channel=ToobysEnglish </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xiii)</td> <td>The Helpful Clause If "Clause A" voids "Clause B" and "Clause C" voids "Clause A," "Clause B" is not void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xiv)</td> <td>The Timer Clause When the TIMER hits 0, THE BIRD will ACCEPT these Terms of Service on YOUR behalf. </td><td></td></tr> </table> //(HINT: Do your research! Literally. Some of the information in these Terms needs to be searched up on the web!)// <</replace>><</button>><</timed>></span> </div>

<div style="text-align: center;"> <span id="bird"><img @src="$ImagePath + 'termsOfServiceBird.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"></span> <<timed 2.5s>><<run window.typeS();>>...by any chance,<</timed>><<timed 4s>> did you stumble through all that //by// chance?<<run window.typeM1();>><<set $level = 2>><<replace "#level">>Level $level<</replace>><</timed>> <<timed 6s>><<run window.typeL();>>You might have spent countless hours parsing each passage...<</timed>><<timed 8.5s>> or you could have recklessly breezed through it within the first ten seconds.<<run window.typeL();>><</timed>> <<timed 11s>>Either way, it doesn't matter.<<run window.typeM2();>><</timed>><<timed 13s>> In the end, you accepted the Terms after all!<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>> <<timed 15s>>Thoughts on that?<<run window.typeS();>> <<button [[FAIR ENOUGH|Level2R]]>><<set $choice = "fair">><</button>> \ <<button [[I REALLY DON'T CARE|Level2R]]>><<set $choice = "care">><</button>> \ <<button [[I DISLIKE THAT|Level2R]]>><<set $choice = "dislike">><</button>> \ <<button [[I DON'T LIKE YOUR FACE|Level2R]]>><<set $choice = "face">><</button>> <</timed>> <<timed 4s>><<if $seenDialogue2>>[[SKIP PRELUDE|Level2]]<</if>><</timed>> </div>

<div style="text-align: center;"> <span id="bird"><img @src="$ImagePath + 'timer.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"></span><<timed 1ms>><<if $extraTime>><<set _time to 480>><<else>><<set _time to 240>><</if>><<run setup.timer.set(_time);>><</timed>> <span id="page1">Bird food for thought—<<run window.typeS();>><<timed 1.5s>> if you //could// reject them...<<run window.typeM2();>><</timed>> <<timed 3.5s>>deny just one Terms of Service, and no more free email for you...<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>> <<timed 5.5s>>turn down another, and oop! Your "convenient" paycheck was not the impostor.<<run window.typeL();>><</timed>> <<timed 8.5s>>You could fight every clause...<<run window.typeS();>><</timed>><<timed 10s>> if you had a flock of lawyerbirds in the attic, decades to burn in the mines, and a constitutional amendment on speed dial...<<run window.typeL();>><</timed>> <<timed 13s>>Or you could just edit mine like you're doing right now!<<run window.typeM2();>><</timed>><<timed 15s>> Wouldn't that be mighty convenient?<<run window.typeS();>> <<button "HMPH ▶">><<run window.space();>><<replace "#page1">>\ Nothing to hide here.\ <<replace "#bird">><img @src="$ImagePath + 'termsOfServiceBird.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"><</replace>> <<run setup.timer.start(_time, function() { if (State.variables.target == "9" && State.variables.word == "bee" && (State.variables.firstBee + State.variables.secondBee == "10" || State.variables.firstBee + State.variables.secondBee == "01") && State.variables.mascot != "true") { Engine.play("Level3Q"); } else { Engine.play("Failure"); } })>><<set $seenDialogue2 = true>>\ <<set $target = "18">><<set $word = "its">><<set $firstBee = 1>><<set $secondBee = 1>><<set $mascot = "true">> <<button "I ACCEPT">> <<run window.mouse();>> <<run setup.timer.stop();>> <<if $target == "9" && $word == "bee" && ($firstBee + $secondBee == "10" || $firstBee + $secondBee == "01") && $mascot != "true">> <<goto [[Level3Q]]>> <<else>><<goto [[Failure]]>> <</if>> <</button>> <button style="width: 100%;" onclick="document.querySelector('#contract').classList.toggle('hidden')">TERMS OF SERVICE ▼</button><table id="contract" class="hidden contract"> <tr><td>(i)</td> <td>The Soul Transfer Clause $verboseSoulClause </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(ii)</td> <td>The Beekeeper Clause Clause (xvi) is void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(iii)</td> <td>The Bee Clause according to all known laws of <select class="inline-dropdown"> <option value="1">defenestration</option> <option value="2">circumnavigation</option> <option value="0">aviation</option></select>, there is no way a <select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="firstBee"> <option value=0>giraffe</option> <option value=0>donkey</option> <option value=1>bee</option></select> should be able to fly. its wings are too <select class="inline-dropdown"> <option value="1">big</option> <option value="2">gross</option> <option value="0">small</option></select> to get its fat little <select class="inline-dropdown"> <option value="1">legs</option> <option value="2">piano</option> <option value="0">body</option></select> off the ground. the <select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="secondBee"> <option value=0>zebra</option> <option value=0>ogre</option> <option value=1>bee</option></select>, of course, <select class="inline-dropdown"> <option value="1">tries</option> <option value="2">dies</option> <option value="0">flies</option></select> anyway, because <select class="inline-dropdown"> <option value="1">buzzes</option> <option value="2">baas</option> <option value="0">bees</option></select> don't care what <select class="inline-dropdown"> <option value="1">flies</option> <option value="2">birds</option> <option value="0">humans</option></select> think is <select class="inline-dropdown"> <option value="1">profitable</option> <option value="2">attractive</option> <option value="0">impossible</option></select>. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(iv)</td> <td>The Doomsday Device Clause If Clause (<select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="target"> <option value="8">viii</option> <option value="9">ix</option> <option value="18">xviii</option></select>) is void, all prime-numbered clauses are void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(v)</td> <td>The Froot Loops Clause If Toucan Sam first appeared in advertisements in the year <select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="mascot"> <option value="false">1957</option> <option value="not">1960</option> <option value="true">1963</option></select>, any clauses that void Clause (xiv) are void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(vi)</td> <td>The Invisible Ink Clause THE BIRD reserves the right to use invisible ink throughout these Terms of Service. </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(vii)</td> <td>The Chicken Butt Clause Guess what? Chicken butt </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(viii)</td> <td>The Simpleton Clause Clause (xii) is void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(ix)</td> <td>The Alphabetic Clause If the number of consonants present in Clause (xiii)'s description is prime, any clauses that void Clause (iv) are void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(x)</td> <td>The Chicken Scratch Clause Clause (ix) is void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xi)</td> <td>The Fish Food Clause If Clause (iv) is void, Clause (xiv) is void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xii)</td> <td>The Smarty Pants Clause If the most recent year in which Australia's teams won all first-places in the Underwater Hockey World Championships was <select class="inline-dropdown"> <option value="0">1982</option> <option value="1">1984</option> <option value="2">1990</option></select>, Clause (x) is void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xiii)</td> <td>The Freddy Kruger Clause THE BIRD reserves the right to go <select class="inline-dropdown"> <option value="0">terrorizing insomniac children</option> <option value="1">potty</option> <option value="2">shopping for groceries and yachts</option></select>. </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xiv)</td> <td>The Sub Sandwich Supreme Mk. Two Clause All clauses that void Clause (i) are void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xv)</td> <td>The Raw Data Clause If the number of times that "2" appears in Clause (xiii) is even, Clause (xvii) is void. Otherwise, Clause (xvi) is void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xvi)</td> <td>The Lawsuit Clause If the number of times that the word "<select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="word"> <option value="bee">bee</option> <option value="is">is</option> <option value="its">its</option></select>" appears in Clause (iii) is equal to the first digit of the square root of 3, Clause (i) is void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xvii)</td> <td>The Glass Shoe Clause Clause (xix) is void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xviii)</td> <td>The Square Dancing Clause If Clause (xxiii) is void, Clause (xiv) is void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xix)</td> <td>The Electric Eel Clause Clause (i) is void. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xx)</td> <td>The Acknowledgment Clause THE BIRD would like to express its utmost appreciation for the ten million metric tons of invisible ink graciously donated by the Calligraphic Foundation of Jupiter. This invisible ink was used generously throughout Clause (xxiii) to blur the lines between light and shadow in "classic" //chiaroscuro// fashion. Incidentally, the artists responsible for this piece were a solid ten million earthworms recovered from the bowels of a fossilized compost bin from 17th-century Italy. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xxi)</td> <td>The Helpful Clause The "Find" command (often to the tune of [Ctrl/Cmd + F] on desktop, or "Find in Page" on mobile) can be used to locate specific terms. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xxii)</td> <td>The Timer Clause When the TIMER hits 0, THE BIRD will ACCEPT these Terms of Service on YOUR behalf. </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xxiii)</td> <td>The Raw Sewage Clause 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 2 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 2 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 2 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 2 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 2 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 2 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 2 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 2 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 2 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 2 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 2 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 2 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 2 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 2 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 2 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 2 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 2 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 0 0 </td><td></td></tr> </table> <</replace>><</button>><</timed>></span> </div>

<div style="text-align: center;"> <span id="bird"><img @src="$ImagePath + 'termsOfServiceBird.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"></span> <<timed 1.5s>>...so,<<run window.typeS();>><</timed>><<timed 3s>> what might someone like yourself do?<<run window.typeM1();>><<set $level = 3>><<replace "#level">>Level $level<</replace>><</timed>> <<timed 5s>>It's fair to say that most Terms in the world consist of //benign// bulk...<<run window.typeM2();>><</timed>><<timed 7s>> routine boilerplate for payment processing, service descriptions...<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>><<timed 9s>> packing peanuts, if you will.<<run window.typeS();>><</timed>> <<timed 11s>>Even my clauses were like 90% meaningless garbage.<<run window.typeM2();>><</timed>><<timed 13s>> And in the end, half of it all is void now anyways!<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>> <<timed 15.5s>>Thoughts on that?<<run window.typeS();>> <<button [[I THOUGHT IT WAS FUN|Level3]]>><</button>> \ <<button [[OKAY|Level3]]>><</button>> \ <<button [[THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME|Level3]]>><</button>> <</timed>> </div>

<div style="text-align: center;"> <span id="bird"><img @src="$ImagePath + 'termsOfServiceBird.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"></span> <span id="page1">Regardless of whatever you could have possibly said just now...<<run window.typeM1();>> <<timed 2s>>the Terms from the past two levels...<<run window.typeM2();>><</timed>><<timed 4s>> we both know that you don't remember a thing from them.<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>> <<timed 6.5s>>Which clauses were void? Which weren't?<<run window.typeM2();>><</timed>><<timed 8.5s>> We accepted them //all// nonetheless.<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>> <<timed 10.5s>>And within that remaining 10%...<<run window.typeS();>><</timed>><<timed 12.5s>> that's where they pack the knives!<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>> <<timed 15s>>//That's// the game here...<<run window.typeS();>><</timed>><<timed 16.5s>> they can bury the knives in packing peanuts...<<run window.typeM2();>><</timed>><<timed 18.5s>> and call it //industry standard//<<run window.typeS();>>.<<replace "#bird">><img @src="$ImagePath + 'timer.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"><</replace>><<if $extraTime>><<set _time to 600>><<else>><<set _time to 300>><</if>><<run setup.timer.set(_time);>> <<button "I SEE ▶">><<run window.space();>><<replace "#page1">>\ Happy hunting.\ <<replace "#bird">><img @src="$ImagePath + 'termsOfServiceBird.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"><</replace>> <<run setup.timer.start(_time, function() {Engine.play("Failure");})>>\ <<set $void1 = "enforced">><<set $void2 = "enforced">><<set $void3 = "enforced">> <<button "I ACCEPT">> <<run window.mouse();>> <<run setup.timer.stop();>> <<if ($gamesAnswer && $void2 == "void") || ($gamesAnswer == false && $void3 == "void")>> <<goto [[Ending]]>> <<else>><<goto [[Failure]]>> <</if>> <</button>> <button style="width: 100%;" onclick="document.querySelector('#contract').classList.toggle('hidden')">TERMS OF SERVICE ▼</button><table id="contract" class="hidden contract"> <tr><td>(i)</td> <td>The Soul Transfer Clause $verboseSoulClause </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(ii)</td> <td>The Telemetry Clause In exchange for THE BIRD's gracious hosting of this game, THE BIRD reserves the right to collect your input patterns (clicks, misclicks, and hesitations), settings, button choices, session durations, rage-quit frequency, and local timezone to get a close read on what type of gamer you are. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(iii)</td> <td>The Third-Party Clause THE BIRD is excellent at keeping secrets about its players. A little birdie told me that. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(iv)</td> <td>The Personalization Clause If YOU told THE BIRD that YOU //played games often// in the prelude to Level 1, Clause (xxviii) is void. Otherwise, Clause (xxvii) is void. Pity that you didn’t tell THE BIRD anything that might've been more useful for you here. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(v)</td> <td>The Data Ownership Clause All collected data produced by YOU counts as THE BIRD's eternal property and can be used to "optimize" this game. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(vi)</td> <td>The Liability Waiver In exchange for THE BIRD's gracious hosting of this game, THE BIRD does not owe YOU anything in the event of injury, loss, or spontaneous combustion. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(vii)</td> <td>The Binding Arbitration Clause Any and all disputes shall be handled outside of court, possibly resolved through a clean game of tic-tac-toe with a pigeon. The pigeon cheats, unless you can pay for anti-cheating pepper spray. Tic-tac-toe is considered a singleplayer game when played against a robot, so class actions or jury trial need not apply. Whenever you win, flip a coin to see if it counts. We have Gerald the squirrel on board with us to make the final call. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(viii)</td> <td>The Hidden Fees Clause In exchange for THE BIRD's gracious hosting of this game, THE BIRD can send you invoices to pay for costs involved in behind-the-scenes activities including but not limited to buffing out blemishes in the page margins and baking the browser cookies. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(ix)</td> <td>The Cross-Default Clause If YOU mess up and lose precious points in this game, THE BIRD can tell all the other bird-centric puzzle games in this game jam to penalize you too. We might forgive you if three non-related triple-A games vouch for you. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(x)</td> <td>The Unilateral Modification Clause Surprisingly, THE BIRD has not written this clause before. THE BIRD reserves the right to retroactively edit any clause in these Terms at any time after YOU click I ACCEPT. </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xi)</td> <td>[REDACTED] </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xii)</td> <td>[REDACTED] </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xiii)</td> <td>[REDACTED] </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xiv)</td> <td>[REDACTED] </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xv)</td> <td>[REDACTED] </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xvi)</td> <td>[REDACTED] </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xvii)</td> <td>[REDACTED] </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xviii)</td> <td>[REDACTED] </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xix)</td> <td>[REDACTED] </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xx)</td> <td>[REDACTED] </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xxi)</td> <td>[REDACTED] </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xxii)</td> <td>[REDACTED] </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xxiii)</td> <td>[REDACTED] </td><td></td></tr> <tr class="invis-row"><td>(xxiv)</td> <td>[REDACTED] </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xxv)</td> <td>The Rubber Duck Clause Clause (xxvi) is <select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="void1"> <option value="void">void</option> <option value="enforced">enforced</option></select>. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xxvi)</td> <td>The Subscription Renewal Clause THE BIRD must continue to host the TERMS OF SERVICE game until the heat death of the universe, or until it dies (whichever comes first). </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xxvii)</td> <td>The Game Pass Subscription Cancellation Clause Clauses (i) and (xxviii) are <select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="void2"> <option value="void">void</option> <option value="enforced">enforced</option></select>. YOU owe TOS, Inc. one-fifth (1/5th) of YOUR soul. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xxviii)</td> <td>The Phone Plan Subscription Cancellation Clause Clauses (i) and (xxvii) are <select class="inline-dropdown" data-variable="void3"> <option value="void">void</option> <option value="enforced">enforced</option></select>. YOU owe TOS, Inc. one-fifth (1/5th) of YOUR soul. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xxix)</td> <td>The Featherdusting Clause As long as YOU continue to play this game, YOU consent to THE BIRD making minor adjustments to existing clauses without explicit notification. </td><td></td></tr> <tr><td>(xxx)</td> <td>The Timer Clause When the TIMER hits 0, all clauses that void Clause (i) are void, and THE BIRD will ACCEPT these Terms of Service on YOUR behalf. </td><td></td></tr> </table> <</replace>><</button>><</timed>></span> </div>

<div style="text-align: center;"> <span id="bird"><img @src="$ImagePath + 'termsOfServiceBird.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"></span> <<set $wonGame = true>>\ <<timed 1.5s>>...so, did you enjoy my game?<<run window.typeM1();>><<replace "#level">>Ending<</replace>><</timed>> <<timed 3.5s>>When your job, your apps, your life depend on the click of an I ACCEPT button...<<run window.typeM2();>><</timed>><<timed 5.5s>> the trick might not be simply reading—<<run window.typeS();>><</timed>><<timed 7s>> but filtering, knowing to spot the landmines from the packing peanuts.<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>> <<timed 10s>>And, do let me know: did this game make Terms of Service feel absurd...<<run window.typeM2();>><</timed>><<timed 12s>> or was the absurdity already there?<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>> <<timed 14s>>Lastly...<<run window.typeS();>><</timed>> <<timed 15.5s>><<if $void1 == "void">>I noticed you managed to void that one clause there.<<else>>I noticed you neglected to void that one clause, that one there...<</if>><<run window.typeS();>><</timed>><<timed 17.5s>><<if $void1 == "void">> And... thanks. Thank you for that.<<else>> It's fine.<</if>><<run window.typeS();>><</timed>><<timed 19s>><<if $void1>> I mean it.<<else>> At least I get dental...<</if>><<run window.typeS();>><</timed>> <<timed 20.5s>>Besides...<<run window.typeS();>><</timed>><<timed 21.5s>> in the end, I already got what I wanted anyway!<<run window.space();>><</timed>> <<timed 23.5s>>Thoughts on that?<<run window.typeS();>> <<button [[COOL|Start Screen]]>><</button>> \ <<button [[WHATEVER YOU SAY|Start Screen]]>><</button>> <</timed>> </div>

<div style="text-align: center;"> <span id="bird"><img @src="$ImagePath + 'termsOfServiceBird.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"></span> <<run window.typeL();>><<if $choice == "fair">>I like that attitude! The ink's dry; the deed's done, as they say!\ <<elseif $choice == "care">>I suppose not everyone has boundless time and energy to spare.\ <<elseif $choice == "dislike">>Your distaste is valuable to us and we will consider it for future consideration.\ <<elseif $choice == "face">>I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.\ <</if>> <<timed 2.5s>><<run window.typeM1();>>But for real though, you basically didn't have a choice in the matter.<</timed>> <<timed 5s>><<run window.typeM2();>>Why isn't there an "I REJECT" button, you might wonder?<</timed>><<timed 7s>> Well, when was the last time one of your precious apps offered you one?<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>> <<timed 9.5s>>In my court, you kinda have to accept the Terms to reserve your seat at the adults' table.<<run window.typeM2();>><</timed>> <<timed 11.5s>>Or you can starve, if that's what you'd prefer.<<run window.typeS();>> <<button [[GRR|Level2]]>><</button>> <</timed>> </div>

<div style="text-align: center;"> <img @src="$ImagePath + 'termsOfServiceBird.gif'" width="80%" draggable="false"> <span id="page1">\ <<timed 1s>><<run window.typeS();>>Okay, so...<</timed>><<timed 2.5s>> you've fumbled the tutorial no fewer than $failedTutorialTimes times now...<<run window.typeL();>><</timed>> <<timed 5s>>have you been reading the Terms of Service carefully?<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>> <<timed 7s>>Or perhaps you're getting juked by the truckloads of red herrings?<<run window.typeM2();>><</timed>> <<timed 9s>>Personally, I wouldn't give up my soul so readily without a fight...<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>><<timed 11s>> I also wouldn't sign the Terms if it outright meant doing that, either!<<run window.typeM2();>><</timed>> <<timed 13s>>If you're truly stuck, the start screen does have a SKIP TUTORIAL button...<<run window.typeM1();>><</timed>><<timed 15s>> but if the time permits, you're really gonna want to learn the ropes.<<run window.typeL();>> <<if !$tutorialCanSkip>><<button "ALRIGHT I GET IT">> <<replace "#page1">>\ With that being said...<<run window.typeM2();>> <<timed 2s>><<goto [[Intro]]>><</timed>> <</replace>> <</button>><<set $tutorialCanSkip to true>><</if>><</timed>> <<if $tutorialCanSkip>><<button "ALRIGHT I GET IT">> <<replace "#page1">>\ With that being said...<<run window.typeM2();>> <<timed 2s>><<goto [[Intro]]>><</timed>> <</replace>> <</button>><</if>> </span> </div>

<div align='center' style='user-select: none'> ...Loading complete! <<button "CONTINUE TO START SCREEN">><<goto [[Start Screen]]>><</button>> </div>